


Just a Normal Fishing Date

by zestycheck (breathingfire)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Drowning, Fishing date, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, a little bit, its temporary drowning tho, kinda gross sexual imagery at the end but its not any worse than canon tbh, taako Freaks Out but its not quite a panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 13:58:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11442321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingfire/pseuds/zestycheck
Summary: Taako heads to the local lake to relax and fish. But the fish aren't biting, and he's getting bored. So he invites Kravitz over to hang with him, and things get a little out of hand.





	Just a Normal Fishing Date

**Author's Note:**

> AnonymousPuzzler may have beaten me to the punch re: fishing date fics, but seeing as this is only the second one out of ~400 fics, I don't feel too bad.
> 
> I've never been in a boat this small before (tiny row boat, two people max), so I'm sorry if the physics seem unrealistic lmao.
> 
> Also I use "static" as a descriptor here, and I feel the need to preemptively apologize. (no, its not about _that_ )

The fish weren't biting today. Well, judging by the algae content of the lake, Taako wasn't sure there were many fish to begin with, but seeing as this was the closest body of water to his apartment by a long shot, he had figured he would try it anyway.

So, sitting in the partial shade of an umbrella (Lup took her umbrastaff back when she regained a body, and while he was kinda annoyed at that, he was also just overjoyed to have her back), one leg dangling over the side of the small rickety old boat he had found, he was starting to become bored.

He fiddled with his new Stone of Farspeech for a moment before attuning it to Kravitz's frequency. “Krav, babe, you free right now?”

“Just one moment,” Kravitz answered. Taako could hear a screamed plea for mercy before it was cut off. Even knowing his boyfriend's line of work, the sound still sent a shiver down his spine.

“Sorry about that, love,” Kravitz continued, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. “What were you saying?”

Taako cleared his throat and tried his damnedest to get the scream out of his head. “Are you available now, babe? I'm bored and would love to see you.”

“Yeah, just give me a few minutes to get this guy settled in the Stockade.”

“Great. I'm at this bigass lake about half a mile from my apartment. I think we've walked past it a few times. Call me when you get here.”

“Alright. See you there.”

Taako closed his eyes and smiled, knowing Kravitz would be coming in just a few minutes. He was almost drifting off when he heard the familiar sound of a rift being opened. He glanced over to his left and yep, there was Kravitz, standing in a rift about a foot away and about a foot above the water. “How the fuck did you do that?” Taako asked, incredulous.

Kravitz's eyebrows knitted in confusion. “What, you mean opening a rift?”

“No - well, I mean, yeah that too, been wondering about that for a while, but how the fuck did you know where I was?”

Something like guilt passed across Kravitz's face. “You told me.”

“I didn't tell you where exactly I was in the middle of a huge fuckin lake!”

Kravitz sighed. “Alright, alright. Even though you don't currently have a bounty on your head, because you were once in my book of bounties, I kind of… have a permanent marker on your soul now? It's very useful for tracking down repeat offenders. I can't really turn it off, but if it makes you uncomfortable, I can try to ignore it, I guess?” Kravitz was looking at him guiltily.

“So you, like, know where I am at all times?”

“Well, not consciously, no. But when I want make a rift to where you are, I sort of have a gut feeling about where to open it.”

Taako wasn't sure how he felt about that, but he shoved it aside to think about later. All he wanted was Kravitz's company right now. “Well, come on,” Taako said, waving him out of the rift and into the boat.

Kravitz stepped out of the rift. Apparently the man has never gotten in a boat before, because instead of stepping inside it, he puts his foot on the edge, which causes the boat to move away from under him as he falls in the water, rift closing automatically. Taako explodes into laughter and barely stops the fishing pole and umbrella from sliding into the water as the boat rocks and drifts sideways.

As his laughter dies down, though, Taako realizes Kravitz still hasn't surfaced. His happiness immediately sours. His mind starts racing a million miles an hour as he calls out, “Kravitz?!”

 _Can he drown? He can't die, he's already_ dead. _Then where the fuck is he?_ Taako searches the water off the left side of the boat, looking for any detail or anything out of the ordinary, when his mind flashes back to Kravitz drowning while he was in Wonderland, in the Hunger-corrupted Astral Plane.

Taako shoves the thought out of his head. He couldn't do anything for him then, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let an opportunity pass again. He sticks his arm out, fingers grazing the water, desperately hoping.

An arm shoots out of the water and grabs his own, clothed in a soaked but fancy suit, Kravitz's face appearing next to it. Taako sighs in relief and starts pulling him up. The boat rocks dangerously, but Taako doesn't care.

And Kravitz _lets go_ of him, and his hand is so slick with algae that Taako can't keep a grip on him, and he sinks back below the water.

“ _Fuck!_ ” The boat rocks back, and if he weren't already on his knees he probably would have lost his balance. He starts scanning the water again desperately, searching for any sort of sign from him. It was too thick with plants and algae to see much of anything. _This wasn't supposed to go this way, we were just gonna relax and make out a little I didn't want to kill him oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck -_

His thoughts were stopped in their tracks as a bright light briefly lit up the bottom of the lake, bubbles rising up a second later. Then, before Taako could make sense of any of it, a small ball of light shot up out of the water and hovered in front of him in the boat.

Taako stared at it. “Kravitz!?” He wasn't just a soul very often, but Taako remembered what it looked like from their time in Lucas's lab.

“Yup, it's me,” Kravitz said, laughing nervously. It was definitely his voice, but it had an extra ethereal quality to it when it wasn't being produced by fabricated vocal cords. Taako didn't have facial expressions or body language to work off of, but he could definitely hear the embarrassment in his voice.

Taako was just overwhelmed with relief that he hadn't somehow permakilled Kravitz, and he cupped his hands behind the soul to scoot him closer. Actually touching him like this was weird; there was nothing solid to him, just more resistance the closer his hands moved to the center, like it was just thicker air. Touching him also felt fizzy, or staticy; like if his hand had fallen asleep and was now “waking up”, although it wasn't painful at all. Whether Taako actually moved him or Kravitz just took the hint and floated closer, Taako clutched the errant soul against his chest in a weird sort of hug as he gradually relaxed by degrees. As his awareness slowly returned to the state of his body, Taako realized that either the panic or the relief had brought tears to his eyes that were threatening to fall; he discreetly wiped them away, hoping that none of his makeup got smudged.

As the last traces of panic left him and his heart had calmed down, his anger bubbled to the surface. “What the _fuck_ was that, thug?” he snapped, drawing back in order to to glare at the light, who floated a bit backwards as well.

“Which part of it, exactly?” Kravitz asked, still sounding sheepish. The light flashed a little brighter every time he spoke.

“The fuckin’ - you _let go_! What the fuck?”

“I was worried the boat was going to tip over.”

“ _So?!_ ” Taako practically shouted. He drew in a deep breath through his nose and let it out. In a more level voice, he continued, “Alright, so, maybe this lake isn't the best swimming conditions, but I'd rather be in the gross-ass water with you than thinking you had died! … again… somehow…” He trailed off as he realized how truly ridiculous his fears were.

“I don't think having you in the water with me would have helped, love,” Kravitz chuckled.

“What do you mean?”

“I can't swim, Taako.”

Taako's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Don't you have a big ol’ spooky lake over in ghost town?”

“I don't go into the Sea of Souls very often, and when I do it's usually as a soul myself,” Kravitz explained. “Or sometimes I walk along the bottom as a skeleton.”

Taako pictured skeleton Krav marching along the bottom of an ocean and couldn't help but smile. “Alright, that actually sounds pretty sick. But I totally could have dragged you to shore.”

There was a beat of silence before they both started to laugh at that. They knew how poor Taako's physical strength was, and how much he complained at even the least amount of physical labor.

“Alright, so,” Taako continued, anger dissipated and replaced with curiosity, “is there now just a Kravitz body on the bottom of the lake? Do we have to worry about someone finding it?”

Kravitz chuckled and Taako could hear a smile in his voice. “No, no, I just dismissed it, and it dissolved into light and dust.”

“Oh,” Taako said, contemplative. He loved learning stuff about his boyfriend, even if it was weird, if interesting, shit like this. “So can't you just… summon a new one?”

“Yes, I can, but it takes a while. I've already started the process, but I won't have a new body for at least…” He trailed off as he tried to estimate the length of time. “...half an hour, I'd say.”

“Hmm.” Well, at least he wasn't bored now. He played around with Kravitz's soul, intermittently poking him, petting him, and kissing him, relishing the sensation against his lips. He was also amused by the thought that he _literally_ held his boyfriend in the palm of his hands.

After a bit, Taako leaned his head over the edge of the boat, and as he stared at the water he came up with an absolutely _rad_ idea.

He sat up. “Hey Krav.”

“Hmm?”

“Remember when you were all crystally and shit back in Lucas's lab?”

“Uh, yes, I do remember, quite - quite vividly, in fact,” Kravitz stammered, and added an entirely unnecessary cough, his soul moving back and forth minutely.

Taako stared at him for a moment, confused, before figuring out why he was uncomfortable. “Oh no, my dude, you know I put all that shit behind me. No, I was wondering if you could, like… possess the lake. Make a body out of water.”

Kravitz stilled, and if he had a face, Taako would bet it’d be scrunched up in thought. “I don't… I don't know. I've never tried to make a body out of something that wasn't, you know, solid.”

“You should try it!” Taako's eyes widened and he grinned. “Think of how sweet it'd be if it worked!”

“Alright then, I suppose.” Although the words were nonchalant, Taako could hear his mischievous smile. He wanted to try this as much as Taako did.

Taako watched as the small ball of light drifted over the edge of the boat and then dove into the water, which didn't even ripple. There were a few moments of absolute stillness, and Taako had to bite down the bile that threatened to rise and shoo the invasive thought of Kravitz drowning yet again.

Then there was a flash of light that spread throughout the lake, and the water started to shift beneath him. He quickly stowed the pole and umbrella as water began to rise beside him, wrapped in a dim glow. The higher the animated water rose, the lower Taako sank, until the column was at least twenty feet above him.

“Holy shit, Krav!” Taako shouted, standing up with a huge grin on his face. The huge green blob cocked his head to the side, as if studying him, and then bent over until he was a few inches above his head. Taako reached up to touch it, and as soon as his hand broke the surface tension, a load of gross green water dumped on his head. Kravitz drew back and laughed uncontrollably. The sound was booming with an extra watery quality to it. Taako's heart skipped a beat, even while he was covered in gross green _horseshit_. He couldn't deny that he loved this dorky asshole.

Kravitz released his watery form, and while he was careful to not dump any water in the boat, he didn't think to take into account the force of releasing that much displaced water at once.

The huge wave of water caused the boat to rock unexpectedly, bucking Taako in the process. The boat, however, stayed upright, and Taako clung to it as the waves settled down while treading water. He dragged his hand across his face, trying to get the worst of it out of his eyes. No use worrying about the makeup now.

“Oh, fuck,” Kravitz said as he floated over. “I'm sorry, Taako, I didn't mean to do that, I swear. ... Although, you have to admit, that was pretty funny.”

Taako shoved his hair out of his face and stuck out his tongue at the floating ball of light, immediately regretting it when he got lake water in his mouth. After spitting a couple times, he sighed. “Alright, my dude, I got this,” he said, starting to hoist himself up. As he applied pressure to the side of the boat though, it dipped perilously close to the water line, and Taako backed off before he sunk the damn thing. “Shit.”

“Perhaps… perhaps I could possess the water again, and gently help you into the boat?” Kravitz asked, voice small.

Frankly Taako wasn't sure if he could trust Kravitz not to flip the damn thing, and literally leave him up shit lake without a paddle. He sighed. “Yeah, do that. But be careful this time, okay?”

“Of course,” Kravitz replied, still sounding sheepish. He sunk into the water. The flash of light came much quicker than last time, and suddenly he was being lifted. It didn't feel any different, he just continued to tread water as the water rose around him. Taako was gently placed in the boat with minimal extra water, where he immediately sat down. Kravitz very slowly sank back down into the water before releasing his form, and barely caused a ripple this time. Taako smiled as the light floated back to him. “Thanks, babe,” he said before animating the oars. Like hell he was gonna row himself, especially not like _this_.

Kravitz followed behind as Taako sailed across the lake, and when he hit shore Taako practically vaulted out of the boat and laid down on the soft grass. He relaxed for a moment or two before remembering his pole and umbrella still in the boat.

As Taako fished his supplies out of the boat, he heard a strange popping noise. Possessions in hand, he turned around to find Kravitz standing on the shore, with his handsome face. Boy was Taako ever glad to see that face.

“Darling,” Taako said, approaching him. “Dear,” he continued, wrapping his arms behind the reaper's neck and leaning his entire gross body against Kravitz's, feeling his dress shirt absorb the water. “Light of my life,” he said, running his hand down his boyfriend's face, leaving trails of green lake goo. Kravitz grimaced, but didn't complain. He knew he deserved this much.

“ _Please_ open a rift for me. I refuse to walk home like this,” Taako continued, staring Kravitz in the eyes. “I look like Fantasy Kermit the frog jizzed all over me. No, I look like seventeen discrete Kermits all jizzed on me at once.”

Kravitz couldn't hold in his laughter at that imagery. “Of course,” Kravitz said, once he regained his composure. He tore open a rift and they stepped directly into Taako's apartment. Taako threw the pole and umbrella into a corner. He'll deal with it later.

“Taako, I'm sorry for ruining -”

“Nope,” Taako said, holding up a finger against his lips. “Ya ruined nothing. I said I was bored and I certainly wasn't anymore after you showed up. I love spending time with you. Hopefully with less gross lake water next time, though.” He pecked Kravitz on the lips, ran his hands down his arms and held both of Kravitz's hands in his own. Taako slowly started to walk backwards toward the hallway, tugging Kravitz along. “But now it's time to clean up, huh?” he said with a wink.

Kravitz raised his eyebrows and grinned, and dutifully followed Taako into the bathroom.

**Author's Note:**

> so I accidentally changed tenses during the scene where taako freaks out, but I decided to keep it because it makes it feel more immediate and rushed imo. if its too distracting or something i'll change it tho
> 
> am I bringing up lup in all of my post-canon fics just to show she's alive? ...yes
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to follow my taz tumblr [@zestycheck](https://zestycheck.tumblr.com)


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